Thursday, December 1, 2011

Chris Phillips' Mailbag: Christmas Season

This week's letter comes to us from Steve in Wichita, KS.  Steve writes:

What's the most annoying thing about Christmas?
First of all, you are probably dead from blaspheming the infant Messiah's B-day.  But if not, let me tell you that there are quite a few things amiss about the season as a whole.  First off there are the people who whine and complain about those who take the season out of context.  Christmas is a holiday made up by the Catholic church to offset pagan festivals.  The Winter festival is offset by Xmas, the Spring festival is offset by Easter.  The Festival of Sobriety and Moderation is offset by St. Patty's Day and so forth.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say to celebrate Xmas or how to.  It does however say, "Though shall not kill," so think about that before going to the Christmas tree farm... murderers!  

Also there are the people who complain about how much weight they will gain because of the holiday season.  Ham and stuffing taste the exact same in August as they do in November and December.  No one is making you eat.  Note how Aunt Bessie stopped trying to get you to eat more of her (in)famous pistachio Jello mold a decade ago.

But most of all there is the lingering memory of not getting a pony from Santa when I was six.  Sure, you may say, "But he gave you one when you were seven!"  Great, but I really wanted one the year before and it still stings a little, you know.  Great question, Steve.  Now it's everyone else's turn.  What bugs you about Christmas?

-Chris

7 comments:

  1. What bugs me the most is that in a season built upon peace and goodwill, people suck the most. Go to any store, any parking lot or any post office and you'll see darkest side humanity has to offer this time of year.

    Tis the season to be a jerk on the highway too.

    EJ

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  2. So true about the food! Show some restraint, people.
    And we have an artificial tree, so no pine died to make our house more festive. One might have lost its life in all of the wrapping paper though...

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  3. The only thing that bugs me about the holiday season is that you hijacked my wish list, Chris, before I could get it to Santa. At this rate, I'll be lucky to even get a lump of coal in my stocking, as opposed to whatever you may've told Santa I wanted.

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  4. The only restraint happening at Xmas time is the feeling those bulging abdomens have against a belt buckle with no more holes left to spare.

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  5. The hustle and bustle is what bothers me, when we should be quietly reflecting!

    Another breath of fresh air - thanks Chris!

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  6. greed, not that Christmas is really is really any different than any other day of the year.

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  7. Christmas for my family always used to be utterly exhausting, esp. as it takes place in the hottest time of year for us in Australia. But now that all our family seems to be moving away from the home town, it's getting a bit more manageable! And a bit less exciting, I must say.

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