Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Wise New Sayings 11/9

These are coming to you by request.  If you have an old saying you want revised, email it to me or put it in the comments.  

Wise old saying:
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

Wise new saying:
"Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, your frenemies REALLY close (like almost touching,) and your aquaintances at medium distance, between 8-15 ft approximately."

Wise old saying:
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away"

Wise new saying:
"An apple a day... will eventually lead to malnutrition.  You should really eat some other stuff too."


Wise old saying:
"If you are not part of the cure, then you are part of the problem."

Wise new saying:
"If you are not part of The Cure, then you are part of the problem.  However far away I will always love you.  I will always love you."

-Chris

10 comments:

  1. HAHAHA. thank you. i needed that. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Is The Problem a different band?

    And where's my lobster meat diet post?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha ha ha!!! Hilarious as usual. All three of them cracked me up!
    I'm off to eat an apple.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ROFL!! I love these Chris! You just totally made my morning better. :))

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love that last one too! The apple one is very wise. Wise Jedi, Chris is.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What about a stitch in time can be billed to your insurance with the right coverage, or two heads are better pickled?

    ReplyDelete
  7. How about "I'm pulling your leg," or even, "pull my finger."

    ReplyDelete