Thursday, November 3, 2011

Chris Phillips' Mailbag: A Warning

It's time for the ole Mailbag again, kiddos!  A time honored tradition where I answer your hard hitting questions sent to me via email or comments.  So remember, if you want a questions answered be sure to put it in the comments of this post or to send it in via email.  

This week's question comes from Lydia Kang in Counciltucky, Iowa.  Lydia writes:

Dear Chris,
I saw 18 turkeys walking around in my yard today. It's November.

Should I warn them? About, you know...a certain holiday coming up that involves, er, gravy?

-Lydia
Lydia,

Let me begin this response by explaining a common holiday misconception.  Basically every holiday should involve gravy in some way, if you are doing it right.  Not just Thanksgiving.  Think about it.  Thanksgiving needs gravy, sure.  But what about Christmas?  Now I know right now you are thinking, That's only two holidays, what about Yom Kippur?  You aren't even supposed to eat on Yom Kippur!  You are to be fasting!  And while that is true, what do you think observers break the 25 hour fast with?  That's right, gravy.  Have you ever had unleavened bread dry?  And I don't even need to get into how much more fun Groundhog Day is with gravy, now do I?

As for the turkeys, you should warn them.  It's only fair.  Now how to warn them?  Hmm.  We need something loud enough for them all to hear and get it.  I know!  a pump action shotgun!  That should warn them!  Though I guess you'd only technically be warning 17/18 turkeys.  Oh well.

-Chris

8 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha ha!!!!
    Glad you are back, Chris, you turkey!

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  2. Ha! I love Turkey...and gravy :)

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  3. I could volunteer my cat for some turkey warning...

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  4. Groundhog day and gravy. Let me mull that over. Please let it not involved ground-ground hog burgers. Ew.

    Dude, I am not from Counciltucky! Take that back! Okay, to be honest, I'm a Baltimoron, but still. I'm across the Missouri in Omaha. I forgive you. Especially if you come over and scare away the turkey with your shotgun, in which case I might get a free Thanksgiving dinner. :D

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  6. I must be one of the few who does not like turkey, nor gravy. Don't shoot me!

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