I want to start a segment where I answer people's emails or questions. Unfortunately, I'm not popular enough to get emails about anything other than male enhancement or sending money to Africa (dudes, I'm going to be so rich real soon.) So I need to open up the floor. Email me or leave a comment, whichevs. I'll format one question a week like this:
This email is from Roger in Zambia. Roger writes:
Dear Mr. Phillips,
Do you want to send me some money here in Africa? I have come into the fortune of Prince Waunzooba of the Himbautoo peopl. However, do to the red tapes I cannot free the money. Any investors who invest the $10,000 will get at least $750,000 in return when the full fortune is transfered to the Uninted Statez. Please act quickly I have several investors ready to invest, but thought I would email you first on your hotmail account just in case.
Then I'd answer the question like so:
At first I was skeptical of your email. Fortunately for you the signature read "sincerely" so now I'm just going with it. I would love to send you some money. With the returns you were talking about I would like to invest the full $100,000 my Nana left me when she passed. However, the government has it in some kind of trust that I cannot get out without major penalties. So If you would just send me $20,000 I can get it out, then give it to you so you can get your money out. Dude, we are going to be so rich! We are going to build a fort from our money with a working money draw-bridge. I was thinking about building a big vault and filling it with cash and gold coins like Scrooge McDuck and then swimming in it.
Here is a sketch I made of the plans
Let me know what you think, bro.
So that would be the basic format. I would try to do one a week until the money comes and I'm WAY too rich for this place.