Thursday, April 21, 2011

Chris Phillips' Mailbag: Lettuce

If you want to be sure and get your questions answered,  email them to me, or put it in the comments.  This week's letter comes to us from Sharon K. Mayhew of Winnebago, IA.  Sharon writes:

Dear Chris,
I am a huge fan of your blog!  I even have a Chris Phillips' Blog T-shirt!  What is your favorite type of lettuce and why? 
Sincerely,
Sharon

Sharon, 
To be honest I eat mostly Romaine lettuce in salads and wraps.  But the lettuce that has me the most by the heart strings has got to be Mesclun.


It's not particularly tasty or satisfying, but the name is great.  I keep a bag or two of fresh mesclun in my trunk at all times.  That way when the cops pull me over I say, "Officer, can we hurry this up?  I have fresh mesclun in my trunk and I want to get it home right away."  Then, after he tases me and looks in my trunk for what he believe to be mescaline (a psychedelic drug,) I get off scott-free without a ticket and I have a nice healthy settlement check, which I can buy more Romaine lettuce with.

Your Pal,
Chris

25 comments:

  1. This is obviously for the thrill of being tasters. Lol

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  2. Tasered, I meant. Dang auto spell checker.

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  3. Let me know if that works out for you...I'd love to quit my day job!

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  4. I knew there would be a mescaline joke in there somewhere, or at least I hoped there would.

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  5. Fun post, Chris. And a fantastic idea, too.

    Just make sure you don't get one of those really taser-happy cops, or your settlement check might end up being much healthier than you do...

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  6. I wonder if the mesclun trick will work on that blasted speed trap on Pacific? I'll have to try it. Or just eat it for dinner.

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  7. Lydia, where on Pacific? also be sure to yell out don't toss me bro! as you get hit. Lettuce Humor! I kill me!

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  8. Umm...Chris, I really want you to post your first kiss story. I'm waiting. Patiently.

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  9. I gotta try that next time I'm on a deserted highway.

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  10. I can see why it's your favorite named lettuce.

    Inquiring minds want to know - Do you believe in yeti? And has one ever used its telepathy on you?

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  11. Wow...I was just expecting you to say iceburg. I had no idea you were as obsessed with lettuce as I am, although I'm not willing to be tased for it. I will knock someone over to get the last head of Bibb though. :-)

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  12. I just know there are at least 5 people reading this who will later go out and try this just to see if it works. What is scary is that it just actually might.

    Oh btw I left something for you at my blog.

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  13. And I thought it was just me who ate mesclun from a bag while driving. ;)

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  14. That was great very funny. I'm headed out to buy some now.

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  15. How cute, I think it's cute that people want to know your favorite salad. ;)

    ♥.•*¨Elizabeth¨*•.♥

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  16. I really needed that laugh this morning! Thanks Chris:)

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  17. Dear Chris,

    Your blog is hilarious. I wish people wanted to know my favorite salad, but unlike you, I don't eat mine. Rabbit food, blech! You're a better man, um, I mean person than I am.

    Maybe I'll take your advice and start carrying it around in the trunk of my car. At least then it will serve a valid purpose.

    Angela

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  18. I really enjoyed your humor on your blog today. Have not been here yet but am still traveling through the A-Z so I have added my name as a follower. "Let us" say that your sense of humor is one I like. As for lettuce, I prefer it out of the trunk mostly but I am willing to try anything.

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  19. LMAO.

    Go the iceberg lettuce!! just kidding...

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  20. LMAO! Hope they've never used their nightsticks on you for wielding your wit as a weapon.

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  21. Congratulations on your 100th post! Lettuce, ha ha! I happen to like mesclun too. You know what's good? Grilled steak sandwiches on a baguette, with dijon and mesclun. Yum!

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