Friday, March 25, 2011

Giving Up and AppleBees Commercials / Subtitled: Writing Good in the Neighborhood

There are days like today where I just want to give up writing.  Not completely, just writing that requires work.  Right now, to get my own book I have to spend months writing/revising and then go through the gauntlet that is the query process.  But what If I just said eff it?  Is there really an easy way to get paid to write?  Of course!  I could write AppleBee's commercials.  Here is their latest TV ad.

Through all of my high dollar sources I was able to obtain a copy of the actual script for that commercial so you could see it.  Mind you it's just a copy, since they let the author keep the cocktail napkin he wrote it on.  

AppleBee's Bourbon St. Ad 2011
AppleBee's Logo and 2 for $20 flashes on black background with white lettering.
The scene opens with friends jubilantly enjoying dinner at an AppleBee's.

Bro 1:
Hi Sarah!
Hey!  It's my favorite 2 for 20 club (spoken like she doesn't say that to all the 2 for 20 clubs.)  Back for new Bourbon St. entrees?
Obvious noob:
Bourbon St?
I see we have a new member.
Sarah looks around to make sure everyone is waiting for the punchline with bated breath and also to fill the entire 30 second spot.
(leaning in) Welcome to the club.

Shot cuts back to friends who are both awwing at said punch line and laughing uncontrollably.  
Bourbon St. entrees fall delicately onto plate as unidentified spices cascade downward from an unknown, possibly heavenly source.  Elsewhere, a nacho pulls taffy-like cheese, and tongs flip a succulent sirloin.  
Emphasis should be put on how late the restaurant is open in case you are super baked and want to tackle 2 entrees for $20 at 11:47PM.
And Scene.



  1. Applebee's food is terrible and so are their commercials. Thanks for the chuckle. I love picking apart bad commercials.

  2. I am just tearing up right now. I really loved the beginning part where the girl is all like, "hey, guys", and then I laughed so hard when that *one* just didn't know what the club was! HAHAHAHA! So classic! And then when she invited him in, I just felt so good about myself and the world. This was really a great commercial. Chris, you did a great job tugging at my heartstrings. I'll remember this one for many times to come.

    And as it was said in Zombieland: "I haven't cried that much since Titanic."

    And scene.

  3. I'd like to see you do a cyber-punk dystopian Applebee's commercial where robots are force-feeding the patrons food through an IV in their neural plug-ins.

    I'd watch that.

  4. A dystopian Applebees future sounds interesting (looking at Lydia K's remark).

  5. Oh, the poor actors and actresses!

  6. LMAO These restaurant commercials have stock components like beer commercials. I'd like to just once, see a commercial that gives a clue as to some of the real characters that go there. Annoying families with their brats, high school kids trying to play cool, jackass frat boys and red necks who won a bit of money on scratch tickets out for some fancy food.

  7. Cheesy advert...I love the way they picked the actors for their regular looks over obvious acting talent

  8. hahaha...sounds like the basis for a great contest! The I Wish I Wrote Applebees (or other favorite restaurant) Commercials Contest!